BUREAU OF OFFICE REFORM |
| DIRECTOR Sulked Chomsky |
ABOUT
It so happened, in this time of extremity, that, in the course of cleaning the House of the Four Chimnies, by an ignorant housewife, who knew nothing of the historic value of the reliques it contained, the old hat of Walter the Doubter, and the executive shoe of Peter the Headstrong, were thrown out of doors as rubbish, But mark the consequence. The good Saint Nicholas kept watch over these precious reliques, and wrought out of them a wonderful providence.
The hat of Walter the Doubter, falling on a stercoraceous heap of compost.intherearof thehouse,began forthwith to vegetate. Itsbroad brim spread forth grandly, and exfoliated, and its round crown swelled, and crimped, and consolidated, until the whole became a prodigious cabbage, rivaling in magnitude the capacious head of the Doubter. In a word, it was the origin of that renowned species of cabbage, known, by all Dutch epicures, by the name of the Governor's Head, and which is, to this day, the glory of Communipaw.
On the other hand, the shoe of Peter Stuyvesant, being thrown into the river, in front of the house, gradually hardened, and concreted, and became covered with barnacles, and at length turned into a gigantic oyster; being the progenitor of that illustrious species, known throughout the gastronomical world by the name of the Governor's Foot.